Thank you

Even before my children could speak, I taught them to say "Please" and "Thank you." Whenever I gave them anything, I would say: "Thank you mommy." The idea was for them to eventually, hopefully, learn to say it for themselves.
Recently I was blessed to read a book titled "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  It has completely changed my way of thinking and the way I look at the world. But it also made me realize that I,we as adults, are not very thankful.
We teach our children to "have manners" and say "thank you." Yet, how often do we say it. Not just to our closest family members and friends. But to God.
Being thankful and saying it, naming the blessings or gifts, changes your life. It is difficult to explain. It is like a gentle breeze on a hot summer day. Refreshing, even though you can't see it.
It starts slow and tedious. I had to force myself to make a list of gifts.

1. Cherry flavored Jelly Belly jelly beans.
2. Soft baby hands touching my neck.

Slowly I added to the list. Feeling mostly ridiculous. I laughed not because I felt happy, but because I thought it was silly. I determined to keep going and give it 21 days.

Then one day it happened. I was driving and saw a beautiful rainbow. Full and bright. I had to stop and take a photo. And I smiled. And I felt happy. Joyful. Full of joy. I wanted this feeling to last. So I did what I had begun a few days before.  I said "Thank you God for this beautiful rainbow. And thank you for teaching me to smile."
Take the challenge. Write your own list of 1000 gifts. Say thank you. See the difference. Feel the difference.

Mirror Mirror

Years ago I saw a little sign, you know the kind that looks homemade with the writing that almost looks as if it was written by a child....Anyway, it read: "Mirror mirror on the wall, I'm like my mother after all." Funny and true, even though we don't always care to admit it. I've discovered (sadly) that the flip side of that saying is: "Mirror mirror on the wall, my child's like me after all."
Don't get me wrong, neither of these quotes are necessarily bad, but I have issues which to me seem like MAJOR issues. Needless to say, I don't want my children to have the same struggles and hang ups. But, and yes there is a huge BUT, whether we like it or not, our children do what we do and NOT what we say. (most of the time anyway)
In my Positive Changes post, I mentioned about sarcasm. I have a BIG problem with sarcasm. I am very quick with my sarcastic remarks, all though I think they are funny. For example, some one might say, "we dropped him at the library." (meaning, dropped him off, off course.) But I would instantly jump in saying "Oh, I hope he's ok. Did you drop him very hard?" Ha ha, yes, but the problem is the children have now picked up on this, and they don't know when enough is enough. They do it with me, with dad, with other adults...and maybe I'm old school, but I think it's disrespectful. So, who's to blame? I tell them not to do it. I explain why they shouldn't do it. But then I do it.
Ouch! A friend said to me, "God gives us children to perfect us."
Yeah, I have 6 children, so I guess I have a lot of perfecting to do. Lol.
My point is, it is easy to TELL our children to do or not do something, but our actions contradict our words, and you now the saying "Actions speak louder than words."
So when you see something in your children that annoys you, that REALLY gets under your skin like fingernails on a chalkboard....
Take a long, hard look at yourself.

"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." Matthew 7:5 KJV

Positive change

A couple of years ago I read about a US President who made a list of things he wanted to change in his life. I don't remember who it was,where I read it (except that it was on the Internet) or the exact details.
The basic idea, if I remember correctly, is that he made a list of things he wanted to change, and focused on one thing for a week. I think he added one more thing each week. So, week 1 eg: no eating after 7pm. Week 2 : No eating after 7pm, go to bed by 9pm. Week 3: No eating after 7pm, go to bed by 9pm, get up at 5am. You get the idea.
Well, whether this is completely accurate, I don't know, but this idea is stuck in my head and I'm going to try it. So I am posting my "Positive changes" and would like you to join me. Post your own list in the comment section and we can support and encourage each other.
I'm going to start with 5 things, then I'll make a new list if and when I've achieved the goals on the first one.

My list:
1) No yelling/shouting (except in an emergency, real emergency)
2) No sarcasm. (I am really good at this(I'll post something about that at some point), and the kids are picking up on it as well. So this has to go.)
3) No name calling (even jokingly)
4)No eating after 8pm :-)
5) Make my bed when I get up (honestly, this is a challenge with 6 children in the house. I often only do it at around lunch time.)

When I was your age...

Do you remember growing up and your parent's saying: "When I was your age..." Some days I can't help but smile when I catch myself saying: "When we were growing up things were very different than now." "When I was your age, I would never dream of doing what you just did." The truth is, things WERE different, they ARE different, and they should be. The world is changing. People change. Technology is advancing. My 5 yr old seems to know more about my smart phone than I do! The first time I used a PC was when I was 12. And it was to play Tetris on a Doss system. How ever, when I was 5, 9, 12 yrs old, I was out in the field, playing among the Bloekom trees (Eucalyptus trees), building huts, going for an all day bike ride with my brother. It was safe. Now, our children now about Smart phones and tablets and IPhones, Photo shop and Power point. They don't know what is to be out in nature all day, playing in the rain and feeling the wind and sun on your face, coming home with sunburn after being at the town swimming pool all day...It makes me think, next time I will say: "When I was your age, I was free to be a child."

Work

I've been at home with our children for 14 yrs. The last time I had a paid job was in 2000. I have wanted to get a work from home job for a long time, to be able to earn some money. Recently I had the opportunity to work outside the home, nice office job,training provided, lovely boss. ...(my husband). But I had to leave the children. Suddenly I realized what I had to give up to have my "dream". And I simply don't have it in me to do that. I am happy to be at home and help with the business doing filing and invoicing from home where I can still listen to the laughter and arguments of the children. I commend those moms who have to go to work and leave their children evety day. You are very brave.

Traveling mercies.

Today my husband has to work in Dargaville. It is approximately 2 1/2 to 3 hours drive north of Auckland. Recently there has been flooding and other storm damage in the Northland. I always miss him when he's away, but especially when he has to sleep over somewhere. I just can't sleep when he's not home. I hate saying goodbye. I am just so paranoid. I have a runaway out of control over active imagination. I pray God will take care of him and give him traveling mercies.

So grown up

Yesterday we had lunch at a very nice Cafe in Thames, Coromandel. It seemed all their dishes were vegetarian, many gluten free and or dairy free as well. Anyway, I had recently heard that dairy allergies could be the cause for children needing grommets. So I decided to put Daniel on a trial dairy free diet. We are 98% vegan, but we were not religious about it. Now how ever, I am trying very hard to avoid dairy, for myself as well. Anyway. ....back to the actual story. At the cafe, Daniel looked at the food and said "mommy, just remember to get me something without cows milk in it." Ahw, I was so surprised. A 5 yr old setting an example to his mum. He understands why he can't have dairy, even if it is difficult. The other day he said " mommy, I really want some chocolate, I know I can't have it, but I really want some. " I love him so much.